Tag Archives: Parenthood

On the Ice

Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed. Genesis 27:27

He’s always started his prayers just like his Daddy.

“Dear Lord, thank you for this day. Thank you for this wonderful time together.”

When I heard him mumbling those words quietly, I glanced across the shanty and saw him hovered over the basketball-sized hole, peering intently down into the icy water.

He prays when he fishes.

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“Help me to get a big fish if you want me to, Lord.”

When we looked at the calendar and realized he and his dad wouldn’t get another chance to fish together before the derby ended, I looked into those big blue eyes, those eyes I’ve looked into every single day for the whole life of my mothering, eyes afraid to well with tears because Mom was there. Because he’s eleven now. Because he understands that with Daddy’s great new shift at work there are going to be sacrifices too. It’s a great new shift, he knew that. But his eyes misted over even so.

There is nothing this kid likes to do more than fish with his father.

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“Could I do that son? Could I take you?”

“All of us?” He knows with Dad at work, the five of us are joined at the hip. He knows how wild our adventures can get with his three younger siblings. He knows how weathering the wildness can sometimes take a toll on Mama’s patience.

“I think we could do it,” I tell him.

“Right?”

And so it was, after he and his Dad, the night before, had packed up all the gear we’d need -tackle, poles, chairs, tent- and Mama and daughter had packed up all the goodies we’d need -coco, snack packs, water bottles, sandwiches- we called Daddy, working hard on a Saturday, and told him we were rolling out.

My boy prayed then too.

Prayed thankfulness for Creation. For this family. For Daddy. For low wind. For fish.

For Mama to have patience.

We had a blast. We were there early and our fishing friend who had planned to meet us to take a power machine-auger-thing and drill some holes for us wasn’t quite there yet. So my boy and I did it. We took the handles and we let the motor rip and we pushed and pulled and rocked and then whooshhh…the water appeared, a mini-geyser up over the snow volcano we’d made.

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We cheered like we’d just won the Super Bowl.

And the tent only blew away once before our friend got there to check on us. He chased it down with his snowmachine, showed us how to screw the stakes into the ice.

My girl, not much for fishing, handed out snacks and told stories to her little siblings while they half-heartedly fished, kept them enraptured with tales of grumpy fish families, using tackle and bait as props, their eyes big and watching her every move.

My boy and I fished for real. For hours. Just like he and his dad do.

And even in the irritating midst of buckets scraping across the snow and big fish having a stare down with the bait before swimming off arrogantly and my preschooler being rambunctious and floppy and a reel falling off and diving down deep before I could finally pull it back up…

…I smiled big on the way home.

And my heart understood why my boy loves this time with his Dad so much.

Why most every weekend, and a few times in between, he wonders out loud if they’ll be able to go fishing soon. Why, on Sunday my husband will casually ask me what we’ve got going in the coming week and I know exactly what he’s really asking: “When’s a good time to take my boy fishing?”

It’s because when they’re fishing, they’re really praying too.

In the quiet, subdued, much-calmer-now-than-it-was-when-he-was-little way that my boy casually says “fish on” when his pole bends sharp, his heart is praying grateful to God, the One who made that fish, gave him that fish, the One who hears “Thank you for helping me catch that fish Lord” as the hooked catch flops up onto the ice.

In the tromping across the snow, the spruce trees black against the afternoon sun, rimming the flatness of the lake, a spirit prays free and content, breathes in the air, the Creation, the beauty…all hand designed by the ultimate Artist.

In the mercy of deciding which fish to keep, which one to throw back, my boy’s hands pray compassion and kindness as they quickly end the suffering of the gulping creature he’s been given, talking gently as he does it.

In the counting, the arranging, the packing, he prays marvel at the patterns of the fish skin, the colors of the scales, the shape of the fins, the intricacies of this aquatic masterpiece.

And in the cleaning, the bloody part, he’s praying gratitude for the provision, for the life of the fish and the nutrition it will provide, but also for Another too, whose body was made messy to forgive our sins and feed our soul when He gave us His life.

The undercurrent of it all is a heart praying thankful for the time he gets with his Dad. Praying thankful for this bonding that takes place on the ice, the love happening there, the hours that put down beautiful coats of memories…precious paint on the house of this family.

And Mama prays thankful too. Prays thankful to be part of this precious treasure my son has with his father. Thankful he’s let me into a world that has mostly been just theirs. Thankful he’s followed his Dad’s teachings; that he knew just what to do when it was time to pack the sled…when the fish weren’t biting… when it was time to clean the catch.

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A couple mornings later, I read a blog post about keeping our boys pure today, how to help them be strong in a weak world, turn their hearts away from the temptations our culture offers them daily and I think of my boy and his love for fishing. The love he has for his family. His contentment that comes just from having time with his father. With me. With his siblings.

As I read, I think of our day fishing. The monumental little day it really was. How it was the start, and the continuum too, of something big. Something that could be key his whole life, a focus of his heart. A place for him to go when he’s faced with less than godly destinations, impure opportunities.sink

 

The thankful keeps coming. For a husband who has taken all this time all these years to teach our children. To teach them gently and quietly and lovingly and manly. For a boy who loves the outdoors and loves his family, who’d rather be with us than anyone else, a boy who delights in doing things with his closest loved ones.

And I do just like my boy does, my son.

I pray thankful.

Thankful to the One who made the fish, the water, our son. Who gave him to us, who gives us glimpses into his heart. The One who gently leads those who have young, who showed me that day exactly how important and precious these times are for my son, for my husband. How faith-building.

“Dear Lord”….

I pray thankful to the One who has shown me what a good thing it is, what beauty takes place when we know the hearts of our children, when we know how much our boy loves to be with his people, when we get a peek at the urgency of this season with him.

“Thank you for this day”…

I pray thanks to the One who gave me the courage to take my little flock out that cold day.  The One who has shown me how much He’ll bless this family…bless me…my husband…our kids …when we keep our boy right where he loves to be most…

…Out on the ice.

“Thank you for this wonderful time together…”

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Out Fishing

(C. Rankin, age 11)

I was fishing one day

and wishing

that the fish might bite.

Maybe it will be big

and fat

and I might take home a prize and be proud.

But fun with dad, out on the lake,

just me and him and the fish,

there is the real prize.

Me and Dad

(C. Rankin, age 11)

The lake was bubbling with trout

and a few tan streaks of dolly.

I whip the shiny spoon into the frenzy

me and dad side by side having fun yelling fish-on

laughing at the power the fish have hitting our spoons so hard

our reels jump

shake like a snake

me and dad side by side having fun and yelling fish-on.

© This Crazy Little Farm

Life is Messy and Things Aren’t Always Little on this Crazy Little Farm

    “…for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills. I know every bird in the mountains, and the creatures of the field are mine.” ~Psalm 50:10-11

We’ve had our little farm just three years. Not long in the grand scheme of things. But you’d be amazed what a mama can learn in three years, especially when it comes to animals. And kids of course.

An especially poignant day comes to mind when this mama found herself in the surreal situation of stuffing the way-back of her Ford Expedition full to the ceiling before sunup one morning, cages and kennels teetering while she drove through the early morning dark, her children’s faces in the rearview, solemnly brushing the lint off their white fancy shirts, combing their hair and their coon skin caps and quietly practicing their showmanship routine.

Guinea pig shows will do that to a family. You see, this raising animals gig ain’t for the faint of heart. I said it after my kids raised the roof and cleaned house with their little pig herd, winning ribbons and prizes and honorable mentions as I just sat bewildered, shaking my head slowly. I told the judge then and I maintain it now, you just never know what road you’re gonna travel once you become a mother.piggies

And that’s the way it is with farm life too. We’re little. We have pets on the barnyard, not dairy cows or beef cattle. Our little herd of mini horses and goats are just fun family members who fill our table talk and empty our checking account. We’re not pros, heck we have to pray for strength and fortitude before we even butcher up a few chickens. Big ranchers are tough and strong and get thrown off bulls and cut their hands on barbed wire. We’re what you’d call a much softer, fluffier version of that. Think petting zoo. But not quite as cute. That’s us. With a buncha guinea pigs and a two-toed rooster thrown in.

Large scale farmers or not though, we’ve still learned a peck about life from these crazy animals. In fact, I’d venture to say I’ve learned more about life and love and how this whole operation works in the three little years we’ve had this crazy little farm than I probably did in all the years before hand. You see, when God made animals, He gave them to us humans to take care of. And yes, some animals are with us just for companionship and to keep our feet warm at night, and that’s a wonderful thing. But there’s more to it too.

The way I figure it, as long as this big old world keeps spinning, and no matter what happens on it, there will always be animals. Always. For friendship, for work, for transportation, for eats. Where there are people, there will be animals. And as long as there are animals, there will always be a need for people who know how to care for them. So that’s what we’re doing. We’ve set out to learn. We’re learning how to care for animals. And in learning how to care for animals, we’re learning a whole bunch about how to care for people too. These are just a few of the tidbits we’ve garnered:

Life is messy. Farm life isn’t like what we see on t.v. The farms on t.v. have us thinking barns clean themselves, manure evaporates, animals quietly graze on grass all their livelong days and no one ever gets sick. Or when they do, a quick visit from the vet fixes them up lickety split. Life, real life, is messy.

And you’ll more than once find yourself standing in a pile of poop, wondering how you got there, and having no other option than to just take your shovel and get after it. But after a few times of mucking, it’ll get to become a little more familiar. It won’t be so alarming after you’ve been through it once or twice. You’ll get better at dealing with the poop. And you might even start to figure out ways to head off big messes. But it’s still going to always be there. In life, there’s poop. You just gotta learn to deal with it.

Life is unpredictable. You learn to deal with messes and may even get good at it. But then, on farms, and in life, something’ll get thrown at you that you have no idea where it came from or how to deal with it. The pony will get sick and you’ll find yourself giving him shots in the neck twice a day for two weeks straight even though you can barely calm the shaking in your hands. Or the hedgehog will develop a very sudden onset of Wobbly Hedgehog Syndrome one morning which will force you to ask your husband twelve hours later if he wouldn’t mind just getting it over with by gently sending the poor animal to the hereafter while you and the kids run into town. Things happen that you’d never even think of when you woke up in the morning and the older you get, the harder it is to deal with sudden happenings, but the easier it gets too because when it comes down to it, isn’t that real life? Interruptions…Surprises…Messes…Unpredictable.

Life needs our attention. When you’ve got critters, you study them close and you study them long. You come to know what an animal needs from you. You understand more than anyone else on earth what they need for food, shelter, routine, training, affection. That animal has specific needs as an individual. You are the person that been commissioned to meet the needs of that critter. If I don’t study the critters on my barnyard, if I don’t know what they need, I’ll wake up one morning to a loose animal, a sick animal or a dead animal. It’s my job to give them my attention.

This life needs our attention.

Careers, worship, recreation, sports, education…all contain one common thing: people. There are people under my roof I need to study close and I need to study long. They have needs that only I can meet. I’ve been commissioned. I need to know how they learn, what their favorites are, what makes them thrive, what makes them shrivel.

Who needs your attention? Study them close and study them long. Make sure they’re warm and fed and sheltered and that they have your affection. We don’t want our people lost, or sick or spiritually dead.

Life needs our commitment. As I write, it is six degrees below zero. Yesterday it was 15 below, the day before 17 below zero. It gets dark at 4:30 p.m. This will go on for months, at least four, usually more like five, depending on our weather pattern. The animals on our barnyard don’t comprehend these details, but they have a keen understanding of when they’re too cold, when their water has frozen solid, when it’s chow time and who brings these things to them. Life isn’t a joy ride. It gets ugly, it gets messy and it gets cold. You have to do it anyway. Because you committed to it and because there are critters, and people, who need you.

Take care of the outcasts. Every herd has an outcast. That one who’s never invited in, who tends to stand off alone, sometimes by choice, but most times because they’re driven off. Jesus took care of them. We have to love them. And they’ll love you right back. Forever.

My little horse is an outcast. So she eats first on our farm. Every day. She still bristles though when I want to come in close. Her first instinct is to want to run. But when I use my soft voice, and gently reach out to her, she’ll come in close and let me hug her neck. She stands still and her eyes go soft. She’ll blink, almost in puzzlement. Then she’ll sigh. She receives my love. She knows that I love her even though something in her just wants to run. Even though she feels outside of the herd, she knows she is safe with me.

I’m an outcast. Somewhere, somehow, aren’t you one too? Don’t we all sometimes feel like we don’t fit? Like we want to bristle? To run? And if you don’t, trust me, someone you know does. We’re walking and talking with folks on this planet every day who’ve been run off, who aren’t invited in, who are just plain scared of the herd. Love them. Jesus told us to. You might help heal their heart. And you’ll both have a friend forever.

Kindness usually works. When an animal is mean, it is usually because it is scared or sick. Sometimes people are mean. They are usually scared or sick too. Don’t be mean back. Kindness usually works.

It doesn’t always go the way you’d hope. Death is part of life and even though we hate it, we’ll have to say goodbye to those we love. It will almost break your heart in two to see an animal you’ve loved, tended to, syringe fed, kept hydrated, administered shots to – lying there lifeless, eyes dull, no more movement in their once-strong muscles. It will break your heart in two to see the tears rolling down your children’s chins as they look on that same animal. But it will happen. It’s part of life’s natural process and seeing death in our animals helps us appreciate life with our people all the more.

Life requires help. It might be in the form of getting the sweet neighbor boys to do some work for you, or hiring a babysitter, or someone to mop your floors, or asking your best friend to go for a walk. We aren’t an island and this life wasn’t meant to be solitary and we need people. Especially during the extra messy times. When we try to walk it alone we walk it hard and in the hardness bitter is born. We need help.flat tire

It takes two. When I carry one bucket I’m a weakling. I slosh the water all over my pant leg and into my boot and bring a half empty haul to the trough. When I carry two I am strong like a teenaged boy and deliver full buckets to the barn. It’s uneven with one. Heavy. Too much to carry. It takes two. It’s balanced with two. God wasn’t kidding us when He said it right there in Ecclesiastes 4, “two are better than one”. Friend. Family. Spouse. Neighbor. Pair up with someone. Get a buddy. Share the load. In this life, it takes two.

There’s more. So much more.

Like how I’ve learned so much about my obedience to God when I train my misfit mini horse. How some animals will listen to certain people but treat others like poo on a shoe. How maddening that is, in animal world and in people world.

sun bathing rubyHow sneaky little goats make you think they’re the cutest thing in the world and then you turn your back and they cause a ruckus that raises the roof, much like a willful and exploratory two-year-old.

How a rabbit will warn all in the hutch of oncoming danger. They look out for one another and will even let kits from another nest nurse and move into their nest if need be. They instinctively take care of the helpless.

How some things are just good plain fun to watch and bring tranquility. Like a flock of chickens. Talk about boring and tranquil entertainment. And even then, there’s the blessing of eggs. Life doesn’t always have to be serious and industrious. We sometimes need a little boring entertainment. A place to sit. Something goofy to watch.

And when we do, even in the boring…
…we’ll find blessing.kit in Daddy's hands

© Cassandra Rankin, This Crazy Little Farm